


the heart has its reasons (which reason knows not)

by loveless_klark



Category: The 100 (TV)
Genre: Cuddling & Snuggling, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, F/M, Fluff, How Do I Tag, Implied/Referenced Suicide, Sharing a Bed, This Is Fine, Touch-Starved
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-01-24
Updated: 2021-01-24
Packaged: 2021-03-16 01:20:36
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,628
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28948074
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/loveless_klark/pseuds/loveless_klark
Summary: He held her through it all, kept her tucked into him, hand rubbing comfortingly over her back, cheek pressed to her temple, keeping a mantra of reassurances for her to hear. She cried heavy, each sob wracking through her body, and she felt so fragile in his arms, like one wrong move would shatter her more than she already was.~or where Clarke blames herself and Bellamy is there to hold her ( post 1x04 )
Relationships: Bellamy Blake/Clarke Griffin
Comments: 6
Kudos: 91





	the heart has its reasons (which reason knows not)

**Author's Note:**

> this is literally just me indulging myself please dont judge
> 
> i have plans to write a p2 but who knows when that'll happen

It was the middle of the night and Bellamy couldn’t sleep.

Every time he closed his eyes, he saw Charlotte, throwing herself off the cliff, and every time, he blamed himself.  _ Kill your demons _ . Ha. She’d killed them, alright. And where had it gotten her? Where had it gotten  _ anybody _ ? Wells was dead, Charlotte was dead, Murphy was banished- if only he hadn’t told her that. If only he had taken better care of her.

He knew he shouldn’t obsess over the past. Nobody could change what happened. But god, he wished he could.

Every time, he saw Charlotte’s death. And every time, he saw Clarke, almost tipping herself over the cliff in an attempt to get to Charlotte. Heard her distressed cries that sent a pang in his heart. She probably blamed herself as much as he did. She was good at that, he knew.

And because he couldn’t sleep, he decided to see if princess was doing any better.

The camp was silent. Most weren’t yet aware of what had gone down, having been asleep when the group trudged back in. Those on guard glanced his way, obviously curious. He ignored them, going straight towards Clarke’s tent. Quietly knocking on one of the poles, Bellamy waited. Maybe she had actually been able to sleep. Good for her if she had. He didn’t want to disturb that.

He heard shuffling inside the tent. So she wasn’t asleep. He wasn’t surprised. But she didn’t say anything either. Silence. So he tried again, rapping his knuckles on the metal pole. “Clarke? You awake?”

“Bellamy?” Her voice was hoarse, the word cracking harshly in the middle. She sounded rough. He took that as a good enough sign to push through into the tent.

Clarke was curled up on top of her sleeping bag, face pressed into her knees. Her eyes didn’t even look at him, staring blankly into the distance, puffy and red with tears. Her hands gripped at her arms hard enough that he could see the skin tearing. He was at her side in an instant, pulling her hands off her arms. She whimpered, squeezing her eyes shut. Bellamy felt his heart break a little bit more. He may not be all too fond of the princess, but god, seeing her like this was never something he would want.

“Clarke? Hey, look at me. Look at me.” He gripped both of her hands in his own, smoothing his thumbs over her knuckles. She sniffled, inhaling a shaky breath. Her eyes fell onto his face, looking more through him than at him. He released one of her hands to reach up and brush her hair away from her face, hoping it would help pull her back to him. She leaned into his touch and sighed. Her hand squeezed his weakly, and it wasn’t much, but it was something.

His hand rested on her cheek and she turned to nuzzle into it, tears dripping down onto his skin. He was at a bit of a loss. Octavia had always been loud, even in her sadness, crying and yelling and too aware. Clarke was nothing like that. She was distant and cold and fading between awareness, and he didn’t know how to bring her back. She seemed to respond to his touch though. That was a start.

Bellamy retracted his hands and Clarke whined loudly, chasing after him. He was quick to pull her into him, arms going to her sides and tugging her onto his lap. Clarke  _ melted.  _ It took her no time to sink into his warmth, her face pushing against the skin of his shoulder, hands clutching at him desperately. He could feel her shaking, feel her tears wetting his shirt, and he muttered quietly into her ear, telling her _ it’s okay, it’s alright, you’re okay _ , and she started to sob.

He held her through it all, kept her tucked into him, hand rubbing comfortingly over her back, cheek pressed to her temple, keeping a mantra of reassurances for her to hear. She cried heavy, each sob wracking through her body, and she felt so fragile in his arms, like one wrong move would shatter her more than she already was.

It took some time, he couldn’t say how long, but eventually she calmed down, her cries dying down until she was panting into his skin, sagging tiredly against him. He kept his arms tight around her and let her come back at her own pace.

“Sorry,” she mumbled, so quiet he almost didn’t hear. “You shouldn’t have to take care of me.”

Bellamy shook his head. “Don’t worry about it, Princess,” he replied. “We all need someone to help take care of us down here.”

“Why you?” She whispered. “Why are you taking care of me? I thought you hated me.”

He sighed. “I did. At first. But I think I’m starting to respect you. Maybe even like you a little.”

She let out a dry laugh. “Only a little?”

“Don’t let it get to your head,” he said, amused. “Just a little bit.”

The mood lightened at that, and Bellamy moved to shift her off of his lap, but as soon as he did Clarke’s death grip returned. “No,” she whimpered, pressing as close as she could. Bellamy froze, a bit stunned. Clarke didn’t seem to pick up on it. “Please don’t leave. Please don’t leave me alone.”

“Okay, okay, shhh, I got you,” he muttered, bringing her back against him. “I won’t leave you.”

Clarke sighed happily. She relaxed deep into his hold, lips brushing against his neck. “Thank you.”

He nodded, pressing his lips against her hair. “Of course, Clarke.”

There was a beat of silence. Her voice was sleepy, drained when she next spoke. “That’s the first time you’ve said my name.”

He huffed a laugh. “You’re still princess, Princess. Don’t get too used to it.”

She smiled against his skin before breaking into a wide yawn. He chuckled. “You need to sleep.”

She shook her head. “I don’t want you to leave.”

And god, if that didn’t hit something inside of him. He hated how he couldn’t resist her. So instead of doing what he should and waiting until she fell asleep to slip out, he found himself saying something different. “I won’t leave.”

“You won’t?”  
“I won’t. I’ll stay here. Promise.”

She nodded against his neck, and so he lowered them both down onto her sleeping bag, Clarke draped on top of him. She nestled comfortably against him, and it didn’t take long before her whispering snores were echoing through the tent.

Bellamy let the sound of her even breaths lull him to sleep, her weight like a blanket on top of him.

︵‿︵‿୨ ✼ ୧‿︵‿︵

When Bellamy woke up, his first thought was that was probably the best sleep he’d gotten in a long, long time.

The next thing he noticed was the warmth surrounding him, and something tickling his nose. He moved a hand up to brush whatever it was away, carefully blinking awake. Gold filled his vision.

It took a moment to remember, but then it registered that the gold was Clarke’s hair, sprawled over his face. He pushed it away, turning his head to look down at her as he carefully tucked it back behind her ear. She shifted, muttering something incomprehensible, still snoring quietly. He felt a rush of fondness go through him, looking at her still asleep on top of him.

It was light outside, obviously late morning, and he could hear people outside. He had a moment of worry for what they would think seeing him exit his co-leader’s tent but didn’t have long to dwell on it as Clarke shifted, burying closer into him, slowly stirring from her slumber. Bellamy brushed his hand through her hair as she woke herself.

She sucked in a breath, her sleepy noises doing something to his mind. When her eyes fluttered open, cloudy and unfocused, he felt his chest warm with affection. He could get used to waking up like this.

Her eyes finally focused, and then widened as they fell on his face. She scrambled off of him, sitting up. “Bellamy?”

He smirked lazily. “Morning, princess.”

“Why are you-  _ oh _ ,” she breathed, and he saw her cheeks flush with embarrassment. “I’m sorry, god, I shouldn’t have made you stay-”

“Hey, slow down. It’s fine. Really.” He gave her a lopsided grin, pushing himself up. “I wasn’t sleeping before I came in last night. I came to check up on you. It wasn’t a bother.”

She pursed her lips. “I still shouldn’t have asked you to stay-”

“ _ Clarke _ .” Her gaze flicked up to his. “Stop worrying. It’s  _ fine _ . I wouldn’t have stayed if I wasn’t comfortable.”

She just nodded. Saying nothing.

“Besides, I think you needed that.”

She furrowed her eyebrows. “What do you mean?”

He chuckled. “I think you needed someone to hug you.”

She flushed even redder. “I- um- yeah, I guess so.” Her head dropped and she sighed tiredly. “Haven’t gotten much of those after spending over a year in solitary confinement.”

_ Fuck _ , he should have known that. No wonder she seemed so desperate. Solitary confinement would do that to a person. She must be so touch-starved, he couldn’t even imagine.

So he just gestured her over. “You want another one?”

Her eyes widened, sputtering words, but she crawled back over to him and fell against his chest. He could feel her contentment radiating off of her, and god, this was already becoming addicting. Having her pressed against him, close as she could get- he wanted it forever. As much of it as she would give.

And if her happy whines were anything to go by, she had a lot more to give.

**Author's Note:**

> come hang out on tumblr at [lovelessdyke](https://lovelessdyke.tumblr.com)!! prompts are always welcome ♥


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